My nine-year-old daughter is very aggressive to her six-year-old sister

My nine-year-old daughter is very aggressive to her six-year-old sister. She picks on her ALL the time – in the car, at the table. Her sister will be downstairs playing on her own and then big sis comes down and the fighting begins. I tell my daughter if she doesn’t stop she’ll have a privilege taken away, her response is, “I don’t care”. Any suggestions?

Your older daughter may be feeling jealous of her younger sister. It is important that she knows how much you love her.

There are two  strategies that you might try to curb aggression:

  1. Give her lots of attention on the rare occasion that she does interact well with her sister. As well, you can create a Sister Peace Chart. Every time she is peacefully coexisting with her sister, she gets a sticker.  A certain number of stickers can be converted into a positive opportunity for her, perhaps a special time reading with mom or the choice of a preferred meal. It is important for her to be able to be successful.
  2. Remove her to a boring place immediately that she is aggressive. This  5-10 minute time out would be for her to settle down and reflect on how she could be more friendly to her sister.

If you decide to use punishment, don’t discuss what she says.  Just impose the punishment.

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One Response to My nine-year-old daughter is very aggressive to her six-year-old sister

  1. Niamh says:

    I am eleven years old and my 9 year old sister does similar things to my 7 year old brother, they are constantly arguing and fighting!!