I am a Grandmother, and my daughter-in-law and I had a disagreement, now she will not let me see the grandchildren. The grandchildren, ages six and two, have spent alot of time at our house. My heart is broken. What should I do?
You need to make-up with your daughter-in-law. There are two steps. First I would suggest you apologize for your part in the disagreement. In most disagreements both sides contribute to the problem. The apology needs to be genuine and sincere. So if you were too quick to criticize, admit it. If you butted into something where you had no business, admit it.
For an apology to be effective it has to be free from criticism. Don’t apologize and add a criticism. If you say, “I am sorry I got angry but you were being childish” it is not an apology.
Apologies need to be unconditional. Don’t apologize to get an apology. Your daughter-in-law may or may not apologize for her part in the argument. Be gracious and accept whatever she does.
The second part is to notice things she does well. Let her know what she is doing well with the grandchildren. Notice her strengths. Be kind to her.
If your daughter-in-law had written, I would tell her not to punish her children by cutting them off from their grandmother. But she didn’t write. My advice to you focuses on what you can do. Don’t think about what she should do.